A Passage of Proof

   When I was in middle school, I was involved in a program at church called the Missionettes. There were three different age groups - Daisies, Prims & Stars. When I was in Stars, we were required to read the Bible in it's entirety, a specific amount of chapters each week. I was more worried about completing the task than actually soaking in what I was reading. I read quickly just so I could color in the boxes for each chapter on my worksheet. 
   At that time, I had no idea how powerful the words were. How much meaning they carried. 
   Lately I've been feeling forgotten. Looked over by God. I've felt like my cries and prayers are being put on His back-burner while others are having their desires met. I know, it's selfish and just not true. I've been very sad and angry since we found out the second procedure was a failure. Satan has been really laying into me and making me believe that I'm being forgotten.
   The day after we got the news, a client of mine gave me a book about infertility. It has stories and testimonials from several women who were told they'd never have a baby - one of them being her daughter-in-law. It has scriptures and prayers, and a chapter for each of the 40 weeks of pregnancy. One testimonial stood out among the rest, and I feel like I was absolutely meant to read it. This woman wrote what I've been feeling to the T. She had felt left behind, and that her prayers were insignificant. She's now a proud mommy and the passage she wrote at the end of her story was this:

Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth;
break forth, O mountains, into singing!
For the LORD has comforted his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted.

But Zion said, "The LORD has forsaken me;
my Lord has forgotten me."

"Can a woman forget her nursing child,
that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget,
yet I will not forget you.
Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are continually before me." (Declares the Lord)
-Isaiah 49:13-16

   Wow. As soon as I read it, I got goosebumps on my arms and tears in my eyes. I thought back to my days in Missionettes. I don't recall reading it at all, not one single verse rang a bell. I was so young, and had no clue that one day this passage would speak to me so strongly. My favorite part is of course God saying that He will NOT forget me. That He has ME engraved on the palms of His hands. 
   For me to receive that book and for there to be a story that almost seems like I had written it myself, goes to prove that I'm not being forgotten. My prayers aren't falling on deaf ears. I wish with all of my might that I could know what's going to happen in the future, but I'll just have to wait. I'm becoming a seasoned pro in the waiting department anyway!
   Please continue to pray for us. Brent has (not surprisingly) done much better about it than I have. He's staying positive and I've yet to see him get angry about it. Pray that I can keep Satan at bay and not let him have control of my thoughts and emotions. Brent said he doesn't care if we have a 0% chance according to the doctors, he will keep believing that we'll conceive. I love that he still has faith like a child at the age of 27. I'm so thankful for him. 
   If any of you reading this are struggling with infertility, I hope that the passage above is an encouragement to you. It definitely hit the spot for me.  


~Kirsten


        "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
                                                          Hebrews 11:1