God knew what he was doing when he put Brent in the same bar I was in on my 21st birthday. Yes - a BAR. My mom still cringes about that! Sounds a little backwards, huh... that I believe God would send me the love of my life in such a place? Oh well, I believe it. Remember in my last post how I mentioned that he dumped me, but that was another story for another time? Well, for those of you who don't know our story, here's that time...
I was out with a few friends celebrating my birthday at a place called Wild Horse Saloon in Tulsa. This cute, skinny guy came up to me and asked me to dance. At the time, I had been dating someone for about 6 months (he was underage so he couldn't come out with me... call me a cougar!), so I kindly said no to his offer. He was polite and said "Okay, well it was nice to meet you. Have a good night!". I didn't think twice about it, and went about my boozing (yuck.) Little did I know, that guy I turned down would eventually become the most important person in my life.
Brent and I had a few mutual friends, and we found that out when we ran into each other at the Caravan. A friend of mine from beauty school is best friends with the ex-wife of one of Brent's best friends. That's a mouthful! Anyway, we were all at Caravan, and I saw my friend talking to Brent. I recognized him from the night of my birthday, and we said hello to each other. Between the first time I met him to that night at Caravan, I had broken it off with the boyfriend previously mentioned. Brent proceeded to ask me for my phone number and I told him no... I guess I was playing hard to get. Who knows. I began thinking of him often and hoping to run into him more. We saw each other yet again back at Wild Horse - sense a pattern? - and I asked him for his phone number (he still jokes that I just couldn't resist him). I've never done that before. He gave it to me and we began texting, then talking, then hanging out.
Brent asked me to be his girlfriend two, maybe three times, but I told him I'd say yes when I was ready. On January 19th, 2008, I asked him to be my boyfriend. Yet another thing I'd never done! We were an official item, and fell for each other quickly.
Let's go back a bit. When I was 16, I started dating a guy I met through a friend. We dated for 3.5 years, and then off and on for about 8 months. At first it was wonderful. We got along and had fun together. We were best friends. But it wasn't long until I was lied to, cheated on, and treated badly. I was blinded by the feelings I had for him, and was convinced we would get married. We went through a lot together. My family came upon a very rough time that caused a huge fallout and a lot of heartache. I took care of him after he had knee surgery. His mother passed away from cancer in her 40's. It's so hard to see someone you care for in pain. We were each others' security blanket, and stayed together because we didn't know what else to do. We eventually split for good, and even though we both knew the relationship couldn't be salvaged, it was devastating. We were each others' first love - it just wasn't the right kind of love.
When Brent and I started getting serious, it scared me a little. I unfortunately made him suffer from my trust and jealousy issues - my insecurities from my previous serious relationship - even though he did nothing to trigger them. Since day one, he's been patient and sweet no matter how crazy I get. In May, which was about 4 months into our dating relationship, Brent broke up with me. I made him leave my apartment so I could be upset in private. A day later, he was at my door asking me back. I was thrilled, and things were back to normal. That is, until September, when he broke up with me AGAIN... right around the time of my 22nd birthday. How rude! Who did this guy think he was? Breaking up with me twice in 8 months time?! I was a wreck. I'd never been dumped, much less twice by the same person! I felt like he ripped my heart out and stomped on it. He said he felt like I was more serious about him than he was about me and didn't want to lead me on. Ouch! Yet, I couldn't be mad because he was being nice and honest about it. My roommate (one of my best friends to this day!) brought home my favorite pie and literally gave me a shoulder to cry on. I cried. And cried. And cried some more. I had gotten close to his family, which made it worse. I didn't understand why the end of an 8 month relationship hurt me so much more than one that lasted over 4 years did. Then it hit me... it was because I was actually in love with him.
Brent continued to call and text me every day. He felt bad for hurting me. I had gone from sad to just plain mad, and I ignored his calls, texts and voicemails. He came up to my work and I made him leave. The girls I worked with felt bad for him. Ha! After 2 weeks he was blatantly asking me to be with him again, that he made a mistake. I told him if he was serious about me, he better prove it. So, he did. I made him grovel for almost 3 months until I took him back. The night we got back together he told me that he wanted to see me in a white dress and have his dad perform the ceremony. We kissed, and that was that. We never broke up again.
He left for Air Force basic training in March of 2009, and we wrote letters back and forth almost every day. I still have them all, and read them from time to time. It only took him two letters until he started really bringing up to the "M" word. We hadn't talked much about it before except for that smooth line he delivered about the white dress. He proposed on June 28th of that year and we were married 3 days shy of a year later. What a whirlwind!
His family (mainly his cousins!) always jokes about what a piece of work he is. He's a kid at heart. He's a 27 year old who will drive a hundred miles to play a pickup football game. He's obsessed with his XBox. He's messy and leaves a trail everywhere he goes. They ask how I put up with him. My question is : How does me put up with me?! I'm tightly wound. I'm a pessimist. I'm an OCD clean freak who has to have things a very specific way. I'm jealous and insecure. I get cranky veeeerrry easily. I stress about little things and tend to nag.
Brent is kind, funny, good-hearted, happy, & patient. He has never raised his voice, called me names or said mean things to/about me. He supports me and encourages me. He's not possessive or controlling. He's honest and faithful to me. He's a light during my dark times and the one person who can instantly make me feel better. He loves my family and my family loves him. The thing I appreciate most about him? He loves me - unconditionally. Thin or chubby, sad or happy. THAT'S why I "put up with him". We may drive each other crazy and bicker about stupid stuff, but I'm blessed and excited to spend forever with him. To watch him grow during the phases of life. To grow as my husband, and *soon*, the father of our children.
So there you have it, the story of us. I smile when I think that out of all the people we've ever met, we picked each other. Sorry if this was a bit on the sappy side, but I know how fortunate I am to have someone like Brent to share life with and I'm not good at expressing myself out loud. Marriage is the best thing that's ever happened to me! The bumps in our road to get here were worth it, and the struggles we're having now will soon be added to those old bumps :) I'll post another blog entry as soon as we know exactly what the next step in our baby journey will be. Hope you're not sick of me yet - thanks again for reading!
~Kirsten
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
-- Hebrews 11:1
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