How is my brand new baby 6 months old already (well, in a few days anyway)? Didn't I just announce that I was pregnant?! This kid grows and changes literally overnight. She has teeth, her hair is growing quickly, she has her ears pierced... sigh.
Speaking of teeth - she and I are both miserable from teething. Who needs those stupid things anyway?! She went from sleeping in the crib all night, waking only once or twice to eat, to ending up in bed with me every night. YES - I've turned into a co-sleeping mama. Have I ever mentioned the list of "never will I ever"'s that I so ignorantly made up before I became a parent? Well, having a baby sleep in my bed was on that list (so was shoving a pacifier in her yapper every time she freaks out, but I do that now too). In case you're judging me, I'll give you my grumpy teething child overnight for a week and see what heights, depths, and lengths you'll go to in order to maintain a speck of sanity! For those of you moms out there who I looked at and thought "I'll NEVER do that" while shaking my head in disbelief, I'm sorry, and you're awesome. Moms are awesome.
On that note though, when she is in her crib, I miss her. I stare at the monitor and watch her tiny chest rise and fall. I love how she'll wake up and look around, then plop her head back down and stroke the sheets with her fingertips until she falls back to sleep. I end up spending all of the time I could be sleeping just watching her and anticipating the first wake-up of the night.
She's thriving and that makes me proud. I fed her her first solid food today and she wasn't impressed, but it's exciting to see her try something new even if it's just a few bites a day for a while. Until today, she's had nothing but breastmilk. In the beginning it was difficult - VERY difficult - for me and I didn't think I'd be able to nurse past the 1st week, but here I am 6 months later, and I'm grateful that I'm still nursing and pumping every day. It's tiring and sometimes doubt creeps in that maybe it's not enough for her, but I have a wonderful doctor (and many other people in my life) who, when I'm feeling discouraged or worried, reassures me that I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing.
On my days off work, we spend a lot of time doing a whole lot of everything. She's at the age where she needs constant interaction, but she gets bored easily so we're moving from one thing to another all day. She rolls all over the living room and tries really hard to get into a crawling position, but just ends up looking like she's swimming. She CAN sit up, she just doesn't care to for more than 10 seconds. She loves Sophie the Giraffe as well as pretty much anything she can fit in her mouth. She likes to stand (with assistance of course) against everything, or on whoever's lap she's on. She still loves car rides, and manages to fall asleep approximately 3-4 minutes before we reach our destination. She loves to squeal and shriek loudly, especially in church! It's cute and I love it, no matter how shrill. There are many things that change about her every day and I feel like every time I turn around she's doing something new.
There are times I see a picture of her, and it can be a picture I've seen a hundred times, and tears well up in my eyes. I guess I just still can't believe that she's mine. She does this thing now where she'll look away from me, then look back to see if I'm watching her, and flash me a huge grin complete with those 2 new teeth. She reaches out for me and wraps those tiny arms around my neck and squeezes. Every time she does these things I feel I'm going to explode with love for her. I show her off any chance I get, and I don't even care that I'm "that mom" who whips out my phone in an instant if someone asks about her. #sorrynotsorry.
This has been the longest, shortest, hardest, happiest 1/2 year of my life.
~ Kirsten
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
--Hebrews 11:1
