I'm a girl who has never thought twice about wanting children, there was no doubt in my mind that I'd love the title of "Mom"! I'm convinced that my maternal instinct kicked in at age 6 when the plastic yellow bottle that came with my "Baby Alive" doll went missing, and I almost lost my marbles because I HAD to feed her (said bottle was later located under the stove... when you're one of a zillion kids, you don't bother asking questions as to how that could happen). Cut to about 16 years later and I was engaged to a man who was well aware of the 50 shades of crazy in my life and agreed to marry me anyway. When Brent and I exchanged vows two years ago, we ("we" meaning Brent, while I acted like I wouldn't be thrilled to have a baby right that second) decided to take our time to enjoy being husband and wife for a while, figuring that as soon as we wanted to start "trying" to get pregnant, it would happen in a snap. A short year later, my handsome Air Force man was deployed to Iraq in September, and I took my last birth control pill the day he left... don't worry, we made that choice together! No tricking on my part :) He returned home in late November and, for lack of better words, we got to work! It's been a year this month that we have been trying to conceive. At around the 8 month mark, we decided that at 12 months we'd see a doctor if we hadn't gotten a little plus sign on one of those dang sticks. We buckled at 11 months and saw a doctor on October 1st. I had some tests done, Brent had some tests done. I won't go into detail as to why we are having trouble getting pregnant, but our results were pretty devastating and we were told that fertility treatments would be our only avenue. In that moment, my dreams of an ideal pregnancy came to a screeching halt and I admit that my hope was gone. Zip, zilch, zero hope. After crying for what seemed like years (really, about 3 days), I gave myself a hypothetical kick in the butt and reminded myself that I have someone on my side who promises to never leave me or forsake me, and to grant me the desires of my heart if I ASK and BELIEVE. No doctor, no medicine, no procedure can promise me those things. Obviously, God gave us doctors for a reason and I am so grateful to live in a time where knowledge and technology advances daily. I won't go on forever (although, now that I've started I feel like I can!), so, all of this to bring you up to date on where we are in this process. This coming Monday, we have our first appointment for round #1 of IUI (better known as artificial insemination). Please, PLEASE be praying for us. We are feeling confident that even if the IUI doesn't work, there are other treatments that will. My heart has a peace now that it hasn't felt since we got the news, and I'll continue to keep the faith even though it's been tested so often lately. I'll keep you posted, whether you like it or not!
~Kirsten
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
--Hebrews 11:1
hey kristin!
ReplyDeleteshelby had her mommy instincts kick about that time, too.
i pray that you both have many precious little ones to grow
up and bless your socks off!